SAYA BEGINI DAN BIARKAN BEGINI ~

"what a color" or " what a gloomy" or even "you should change the color"
i heard a lot of critics about my color.. the color i choose to put on.. the color i choose to adore.

listen people..
i have my own reason why do i choose this color. BLACK. ya. BLACK. you can see my purse is black, my phone is black my file, my bag, my everything is black.

here .. (in malay)
malam tadi saia ada talk dengan seorang akak dan dia sudah tahap membenci saia oleh kerana pemilihan warna pakaian saia yang gloomy dan cara pembawaan diri saia yang menyendiri. look. like i said before i have bunch of reasons to do that.

im sick of being recognise.. tired to be known by others. since kecil lagi semua owang kenal saia. jalan sahaja semua owang akan kenal. dari mana mereka kenal pown xtahu la nak kata. tapi semua kenal. dengan sekali glance then everybody gonna no it is me.. saia cuma berusaha untuk mengurangkan kemungkinan saia di spot lagi. baik dari perempuan atau lelaki.

plus.,
entah kenapa saia mempunyai perasaan yang saia adalah pokok bunga yang bergerak andai baju saia terlalu warna warni dengan pelbagai pokok yang " di tampal" di fabrik baju. dan saia juga terasa macam saia adalah papan canting dengan warna yang bermacam andai menyarungkan pakaian yang bewarna. my ustazah once said " pakaian kite jangan lebih tiga warna" i dont no why.. but ya.. my cloth xlebih tiga warna. tipu kalau saia kata saia langsung tak pakai warna lain. ada.. yes ada. but mesti ada combination dengan hitam. for ex. hitam dan merah. putih dan merah, coklat dan merah atau apa sahaja warna yang gloomy. sebab saya pegang falsafah " sila pandang orang lain, jangan pandang saia". i noe people xnak pown pandang saia. not being perasan or what ever. im just being honest and try to seek for comfortableness.

people,
it is free for you to think that black is sexy, black is gloomy, black is dull, black is this, black is that.. it is your opinion.. i cant stop you. so do i.. i do think black is special and uniQue that is why am i stuck towards this color. and you all cant stop me from adore this color.. nor put on this color. if you do think wearing jubah with flowers and colors is cool.. than that is you. not me..

smile.. and its a very good therapy.
INDEED. i admit that. but people, i do know when do i have to smile. i never walk with smile on my face. i never walk while seeing here and there. i simply walk with "no feeling" face, straight away to my place. so what if i am like that? you like to smile than that is you. i do smile but to certain situation and certain people. how do i smile to a man i dont no? are you nuts? ok, u said that u also never ask me to smile to man then what if i smile while walking than a man think that i smile to him? hrmmmm? beat that?

you hate me for i am? than its your problem. like i said before hate me leave me but to leave what i believe, NEVER.. !